Get rid of the stuff that's weighing me down.
Sometimes that stuff is mental...but it still needs to go!
I've always felt a little bit...wrong, or broken, or sub-par because I'm not a hardcore athlete (I do make a pretty solid couch potato, though!) or a fantastic 'from scratch' cook, or a housekeeper with boundless energy. I've been aiming, for decades, to find that one tool that will help me become that 100% hardcore fill-in-the-blank I should be!
It took a series of videos from Nony the Slob to make me realize that I'm not a freak of lazy nature. I'm just...not hardcore. Not about
anything. This makes me pretty easy to work with and deal with...but
I'm not that perfect housekeeper/cook/athlete I was convinced I
needed to be. It took those videos to switch on that light - ding!
- I'm me. I don't wash every dish immediately, I don't cook
every meal from scratch, I leave laundry on the floor – and
that's okay.
This is an epiphany
on the level of finding out there is no Santa Claus, guys. This is
huge for me. All this time I've been buying tools that will
help me get organized, make more money, have more time, be more
efficient...and they were all designed for those (lucky!) natural
Martha Stewart types out there.
There is something
paralyzing about thinking that you have to be perfect, and knowing
that you aren't -
If I'm not going to
run a marathon, why bother with running shoes? Why bother walking?
It's just – unsuccessful running.
If I'm not going to
keep my house spotless, why clean the counter, or do that dish, or
wash that mirror? It's just unsuccessful housecleaning.
If I'm not going to
label those manila folders and file things the way they 'should' be
filed, why organize those papers at all? It's just unsuccessful
organizing.
I can't believe
it's taken me this long to realize that doing something is
success. It's not a failed attempt at something grander – it's the
best I can do at the moment, and it's enough.
So, I bought
running shoes and I've been walking (with a little bit of jogging)
for two weeks, at a pace that doesn't make my lungs burn, and
actually makes me feel pretty good. The lack of pain makes me want
to go back and do it again. And if I decide that jogging isn't for
me, that's my choice...and it's okay.
Instead of staring
at my house, wondering how I'm going to clean it all to Martha
Stewart standards, I've decided to concentrate on my bedroom. I'm
allergic to dust, so I'm getting rid of the dust. Instead of
berating myself over my plethora of mismatched socks, I've thrown
them all in a bin that I can easily pull out and sort as many times
as I need to – every time I do laundry, or once a year – however
often I'm able and inspired to do so. Without the pressure to make
the entire house sparkle right now, I've been able to take
small, reasonable steps toward something better – and the focus is
on my health, not on how any house guests might view me. (Okay,
mostly it's on my health... I'm only human, you know.)
And the idea that
it might fall back into disorder no longer fills me with fear and
guilt. It probably will get out of hand at some point. And when it
does I will clean it again, and maybe get rid of some of those
mismatched socks I've been hanging on to.
Next up – the
beginning of paper organization. But, you know what? I don't have
the time to do it right now, so I'm going to put that on the side
burner for now. The only oddity there – I'm not going to spend
time, effort and emotion feeling bad about my inability to be
superwoman.
My name is Kate,
and I'm not an organization guru. I am flawed and messy and
busy and tired. But I'm doing what I can, when I can.
And that's okay.
More than okay, it's a new kind of success - the achievable kind!
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