From a Human Doing to a Human Being

In my high school yearbook, there was a section for us to express our goals for our lives.  Our whole future lives, summed up in black and white under our ubiquitous smiling faces. I remember life feeling so clear at that point - so full of possibility, so easily conquered!

My goals were lofty - they included titles - 'zoologist', 'photographer', 'writer', and general ideals - 'travel' and 'freedom'.

And then I spent the next one and a half decades slowly building myself a cage of cultural expectations - college, marriage, stuff, divorce, debt, work, mortgage, car.

Being free is still what I want. But now, at thirty-five, I have finally stepped back from my former American dream of doing and having, and tried to define what freedom is for me, as a person.  As a being who needs less stuff and more substance.

It's prone to change, of course, but at least I know that. Knowing how much I didn't know I didn't know at twenty, I can only imagine how much I don't know I don't know, now.

So this is my latest beginning on my newest journey, and here are the goals that I'm working toward, in no particular order, with a modicum of a plan (as with all good plans, it is subject to change):

• Get out of debt.

• Get rid of the stuff that's weighing me down.  More practically:

•  Get to the point where everything I own fits into my living space.

•  Think critically about what I bring into my living space, and whether it's improving my life.

• Sell or rent out my current two family residence.

• Buy land and build/refurbish a very small house (3 acres minimum, 600 feet maximum is my current goal).

• Eat food that is good for me and my environment.

• Have the option (no matter what I ultimately choose...) to leave my job.

This blog isn't to show you radically new things - simplicity, the small living movement, and the 'do what you love' philosophy have been done to death in a million blogs, books and movies.

But this is my journey, and that is what sets it apart.  It's about tracking and accountability and putting it out there - I'm doing this for me.  Right now.  

But if you want to come along, I'm certainly not going to stop you!

And just so you don't start out in the dark, and because the beginning is never really the beginning...

Here is what I've managed to do, so far:

• I have paid extra on my credit card loan 4 times this year, removing about 4 months of payments from the term of that loan.  I no longer have any credit cards with balances.

• This month, I have donated a box of books and a bag of clothes, and I plan to sell my comic book collection.

• I've thought a lot about the house, but haven't done anything about it...

• I've looked into small house design and I price land lots about once a month.  I can't take action until I'm closer to out of debt, but I can look, and learn.

• I have been vegetarian at home for over a year, and generally avoid dairy at home as well. (I'm not strict outside of my home.)

•  Having the option to leave my job is a natural side effect of doing 1 - 5.  As I get closer to a financially sound, small living, healthy me, I will be able to make that choice without having to take into account the need to pay bills or afford a mortgage.

Ain't freedom grand? 

It's time to find out!