Saturday, April 20, 2013

My Success is Not Martha Stewart's Success...


Get rid of the stuff that's weighing me down.

Sometimes that stuff is mental...but it still needs to go!



I've always felt a little bit...wrong, or broken, or sub-par because I'm not a hardcore athlete (I do make a pretty solid couch potato, though!) or a fantastic 'from scratch' cook, or a housekeeper with boundless energy. I've been aiming, for decades, to find that one tool that will help me become that 100% hardcore fill-in-the-blank I should be!

It took a series of videos from Nony the Slob to make me realize that I'm not a freak of lazy nature. I'm just...not hardcore.  Not about anything. This makes me pretty easy to work with and deal with...but I'm not that perfect housekeeper/cook/athlete I was convinced I needed to be. It took those videos to switch on that light - ding! - I'm me. I don't wash every dish immediately, I don't cook every meal from scratch, I leave laundry on the floor – and that's okay.

This is an epiphany on the level of finding out there is no Santa Claus, guys. This is huge for me. All this time I've been buying tools that will help me get organized, make more money, have more time, be more efficient...and they were all designed for those (lucky!) natural Martha Stewart types out there.

There is something paralyzing about thinking that you have to be perfect, and knowing that you aren't -

If I'm not going to run a marathon, why bother with running shoes? Why bother walking? It's just – unsuccessful running.

If I'm not going to keep my house spotless, why clean the counter, or do that dish, or wash that mirror? It's just unsuccessful housecleaning.

If I'm not going to label those manila folders and file things the way they 'should' be filed, why organize those papers at all? It's just unsuccessful organizing.

I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize that doing something is success. It's not a failed attempt at something grander – it's the best I can do at the moment, and it's enough.

So, I bought running shoes and I've been walking (with a little bit of jogging) for two weeks, at a pace that doesn't make my lungs burn, and actually makes me feel pretty good. The lack of pain makes me want to go back and do it again. And if I decide that jogging isn't for me, that's my choice...and it's okay.

Instead of staring at my house, wondering how I'm going to clean it all to Martha Stewart standards, I've decided to concentrate on my bedroom. I'm allergic to dust, so I'm getting rid of the dust. Instead of berating myself over my plethora of mismatched socks, I've thrown them all in a bin that I can easily pull out and sort as many times as I need to – every time I do laundry, or once a year – however often I'm able and inspired to do so. Without the pressure to make the entire house sparkle right now, I've been able to take small, reasonable steps toward something better – and the focus is on my health, not on how any house guests might view me. (Okay, mostly it's on my health... I'm only human, you know.)

And the idea that it might fall back into disorder no longer fills me with fear and guilt. It probably will get out of hand at some point. And when it does I will clean it again, and maybe get rid of some of those mismatched socks I've been hanging on to.

Next up – the beginning of paper organization. But, you know what? I don't have the time to do it right now, so I'm going to put that on the side burner for now. The only oddity there – I'm not going to spend time, effort and emotion feeling bad about my inability to be superwoman.

My name is Kate, and I'm not an organization guru. I am flawed and messy and busy and tired. But I'm doing what I can, when I can.

And that's okay. More than okay, it's a new kind of success - the achievable kind!

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